Fear of Failure

I am a huge perfectionist. I always have been. It was recognised when I was as young as five. I hate losing, I hate getting things wrong. I hate failing.

I’m not unique. The world’s full of perfectionists, and even if you’re not a perfectionist, you probably still don’t like failing. Failing isn't nice. It can hurt. It can feel embarrassing. It’s not something anyone wants to experience.

Let’s be honest. Failure can be scary. But it’s also a part of any kind of success. Failure helps us grow. It’s the best and quickest way we learn. It’s one of the biggest weapons we have.

Not that I was told that when I was a young athlete.

You Can Run from Failure

For years, I tried to run from failure. I believed I was going to be the best there ever was, and failure was a threat to that belief.

Failure was so scary for me, in fact, that for a long time I just wouldn’t entertain it. If there was a chance I would fail at something, I would just remove it from my life.

A case in point is my decision to avoid academics and exams. When I was 15, I decided I just wouldn’t try at school. My thought was it was better to not try at all than fail. I told everyone it was because I wanted to focus on athletics, but in reality, I was just scared of failing.

Academia was a threat. It made me question my belief that I was the best, and I couldn’t have anything questioning that.

So academia had to go.

I was comfortable on a running track. For so long, I never failed there. For years, I could hide from my fear of failure in a place where I always won. I could literally run away from failure.

But failure is the competitor you can never truly beat and the coach you desperately need. If you want to achieve, then failure has to be a part of that journey.

If you don’t accept, or even embrace it, then eventually you’re going to fall. And I found that out to my cost on the biggest stage of all.

London 2012

The start line of a race is the most vulnerable place you can find yourself. If you have any anxieties, worries, or insecurities, they will find you there. When you’re vulnerable, when failure feels closer than it ever has, that’s when fear of failure is at its strongest.

And at a home Olympic Games, that effect is amplified a thousand times over.

At London 2012, this fear paralysed me. I was standing on the start line of an Olympic semi-final, and all I could see were threats.

I had such a huge fear of failure, of things I couldn’t control, of not living up to what people said I could be, of the sacrifice not being worth it.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to be at the Olympics because it wasn’t safe. Just like academia all those years ago, it was making me question the story I had told myself.

This fear of failure sapped my confidence, clouded my judgement, and ultimately played a massive role in my downfall. I got so lost in my fear that I had no clarity whatsoever. My thoughts stopped me from doing what I do best, which is to run as fast as I can.

What to Do with Failure

Whatever your start line is, the possibility of failure will always be there. You might mess up that competition, you might not be ready for that promotion, or you might make a rubbish joke when trying to make a good first impression.

But you can’t let that stop you from trying, and you can’t let it stop you from trying again.

When something goes wrong, or you don’t perform as well as you’d like, try to see that situation as a challenge, not a threat.

I’m very keen not to over-simplify this mindset shift. It really isn’t easy, and I’m far from perfect at it. Changing your mindset takes time, and it might not be possible, or even helpful, to reach a point where you enjoy failure.

But if you can work on this, even a little, it could make a huge difference to your chances of success.

One way to challenge a fear of failure is to redefine your measures of success to be more than just a result. More than a final number or placing. You need to look for other markers that align with your purpose and meaning.

“I want to enjoy today’s competition” can be a measure of success.

“I want to execute XYZ.”

“I’m focused on trying this new technique I’ve learned.”

There are millions of ways to win that don’t involve simply crossing the line first. And funnily enough, if you find success in the process, you increase your chances of winning the race anyway!

A Lesson from the (Very, Very) Top

I want to finish this newsletter by pointing you toward one of my favourite adverts—called “Failure.” It’s a Nike advert featuring Michael Jordan, widely thought of as the greatest basketball player of all time.

Despite his dizzying success, Michael Jordan also experienced a lot of failure. In the advert, he lists some of the less attractive stats from his career:

• More than 9,000 shots missed
  

• More than 300 games lost
  

• 26 game-winning shots missed

Then, he delivers the perfect closing line:

“I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

And that’s really what this week’s newsletter is all about.

Until next time,

Jack

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